Psalm 34 (The Message)

I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise.

I live and breathe God;
if things aren't going well, hear this and be happy:

Join me in spreading the news;
together let's get the word out.

God met me more than halfway,
he freed me from my anxious fears.

Look at him; give him your warmest smile.
Never hide your feelings from him.

When I was desperate, I called out,
and God got me out of a tight spot.

God's angel sets up a circle
of protection around us while we pray.

Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—
how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to him.

Worship God if you want the best;
worship opens doors to all his goodness.

Young lions on the prowl get hungry,
but God-seekers are full of God.

Come, children, listen closely;
I'll give you a lesson in God worship.

Who out there has a lust for life?
Can't wait each day to come upon beauty?

Guard your tongue from profanity,
and no more lying through your teeth.

Turn your back on sin; do something good.
Embrace peace—don't let it get away!

God keeps an eye on his friends,
his ears pick up every moan and groan.

God won't put up with rebels;
he'll cull them from the pack.

Is anyone crying for help? God is listening,
ready to rescue you.

If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath.

Disciples so often get into trouble;
still, God is there every time.

He's your bodyguard, shielding every bone;
not even a finger gets broken.

The wicked commit slow suicide;
they waste their lives hating the good.

God pays for each slave's freedom;
no one who runs to him loses out.

Lord, Teach me to Serve

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came to Jesus with her sons, bowing down and making a request of Him. And He said to her, "What do you wish?" She said to Him, "Command that in Your kingdom these two sons of mine may sit one on Your right and one on Your left. "But Jesus answered, "You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?" They said to Him, "We are able. "He said to them, "My cup you shall drink; but to sit on My right and on My left, this is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by My Father." And hearing this, the ten became indignant with the two brothers. But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. "It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." (NAS)

I was reading this passage the other morning and it had me thinking of what God has been showing me lately. I've been struggling lately with being contented with being a servant. I have never really minded serving. Most times I like it. My issue has been being contented with serving only. I'm not really ambitious when it comes to a lot of things, but when it comes to the things of God I can be very ambitious. I want to really reach my city, my state, my region with the message of the gospel. I want God to use me to bring millions (yes millions) of people into the kingdom.

I can look at serving as just a means to something else (i.e. till God makes me a leader in a church or till God gives me a "ministry") and while I know God could do those things my motive are not always exactly pure. As sad as it is to say, some of its about me. And I know that dying to self is something that every follower of Christ struggles with but I hate the fact that I want some amount of praises, a little bit of notoriety when the only one who deserves glory it is God.

What the Lord has been showing me is to lay down my ambition. and to serve my family and at the proper time he will put opportunities in front of me. Moreover, at this time serving my family is God's will for my life and is every bit as important as someone who is sharing in front of a church on Sunday morning or some act of Christian ministry. My family is my ministry. Like Paul says in 1 Tim. 3:1-5:

Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) (NIV)

The word manage in the original Greek is the word “proistemi” (pronounced pro-is’-tay-mee) which means to rule or to be over. But also holds the meaning to be a protector or guardian; to give aid. Additionally it means to care for and give attention to.

So before God can use me as in a ministry capacity I need to know how to care for my own family before I can truly care for His body. Moreover if God has chosen for me to not do any of the things that I would like to do, I trust Him. If he wants to use my children to do those things, to God alone be the Glory. Either way. I lay it all down. I love you Lord. I am YOUR servant.